Barabara Walters interviews Disney's Cassandra
by GillyRose
Summary: An interview with Disney's Cassandra,Icaruse's  long suffering love target!


**GNN ****Greek ****News Network **

**News offices in Athens...Sparta...Cyprus...Thrace...Alexandria...and Carthage {sometimes} **

_**An Interview with Disney's Cassandra**_**...**

* * *

**Cassandra Ponders the Future**

******Dateline:**Prometheus Academy

**Reporting:****Barbara Walteropoulos **

**Interview transcript:**

**B. _First of all, I want to thank you, Cassandra, for granting me this rare interview in the Cafeterium of the prestigious Prometheus Academy..._**

**C. It was either this or watching some grapes ferment. You won by a nose. Don't get your hopes up. So... _what_ do you want to know?**

**B. _Well I thought that might be Your line of work... what with your special abilities..._**

**C. Oh... _that!_ It just hits me now and then...sort of like the cheap perfume you're wearing. I get the bad news and it's over. NEXT QUESTION.**

**B._ Well...uh...I really thought...ok... describe your life at the prestigious Prometheus Academy._**

**C. Unmitigated tedium interuppted by waves of anxiety overlaid with feelings of bitterness and seasoned with dollops of bottomless pitch black despair. Then we have lunch and I go into a decline.**

**B._ Oh it can't be all bad- what about friendships?_**

**C. I have a choice of lazy Royals, braindead dress mannequins, inflated jock heads, geeks who've been discarded by _other_ geeks and psychotic blood warriors...the decisions make themselves.**

**B. _I thought you'd carved out yourself a nice little niche with the noble Hercules and his trusty pal Icarus._**

**C. Less a niche than a bottomless crevice from which to stare out of. **

**B. _Oh c'omon Cassandra! ...I understand you' ve been pals with Herc from Day One. _**

**C. Yes...well... he actually _was_ pleased to meet me... I did'nt believe him at the time...but it was nice of him to say so.**

**B._ So... what's it like being platonic galpal to the world's most famous teen?_**

**C. Ok...OK ...you got me. Herc's cool- well, _most_ of the time. When the masonry is'nt flying or when he's not thinking too hard. Bad things tend to happen when Herc gets ideas.**

**B. _You've been through a lot together._**

**C. Yes. Mostly just by standing in his immediate vicinity. You'd think I'd know better by now. But he always _does_ comes through in a pinch. Mark my words- he _will_ make the hero cut someday. That's no vision. Just the Gospel truth, as the Muses are always putting it...**

**B. _OK... Cards on the table- Everyone wants to know. _**

**C. About what? **

**B._ Icarus._**

**C. What about him?**

**B. What's_ the"scoop?"_**

**C. I thought _everybody_ knew by now. He flew into the sun on wax wings and fried...no..._"sauteed_".. his brains. Although between you, me and the torchpost he was a few figs short of a cornucopia_ way_ before then. Insanity runs in that family. No...I should say it _gallops._**

**B. _So that's just not an act? So he's really like that all the time?_**

**C. ...to paraphrase your future ...{_what's_ his name..Something Shakespeare?}... "Some people are born crazy...others achieve craziness...and some have craziness thrust upon them"... Yeah... I'd say he's got all the bases covered.**

**B. _Hmmmm... I don't know...I met him earlier- I'd characterize him merely ...as thinking... "Outside the Box"._**

**C. Yes... Pandora's...**

**B. _He's very cute... _**

**C...in a buglike, ferrety kind of way..._maybe..._**

**B. _Well, if there's no attraction and he gets on your nerves so much why are you always around each other?_**

**C. For the same reason I can't get rid of this mole here- it just appeared one day and now I'm _stuck_ with it.**

**B._ Well, I don't think you're being *completely* candid with me- however...we'll let it go at that. But you know...watching your show I just can't help getting the feeling that you two belong together!_**

**C. Oh _yeah..._we do... like _swamps_ and malaria.**

**B. _Let's talk about the other students. Give me some insight on your fellow Academicians._**

**C. Like?**

**B. _Helen._**

**C. A terrifying peabrain.**

**B. _Ajax._**

**C. He does'nt graduate until we hear him talk.**

**B. _Adonis._**

**C. The Prince of Feebs.**

**B._ Tempest._**

**C. _Hmmm_...she's Amazon...buff... competitive...surly... homicidal ...the _perfect_ cheerleader...**

**B._ Oh dear this isn't going at all well...in fact ...I'm starting to get a little depressed myself. Is'nt there anything or anyone at school that really makes you happy?Tell me- what are your plans after graduation?_**

**C. Going home and taking lots of aspirin.**

**B._ Cassandra!_**

**C. Ok _ok_- you mean for like the rest of my life kind of thing...I'm looking into colleges..._.probably_ Cumae or Delphi...I want to get into futures...that seems the safest bet for me.**

**B. _Yes...I wanted to ask you more about your special gifts ...in fact - let's discuss...Cassandra? Cass...andra?Are you OK, Hon?_**

**C. I see a terrible ..scene..crying ...people screaming...throwing themselves on the ground...unconscious and writhing...flames..burning ..ripping clothing...smoke...noise...mindless violence...breaking things...oh wait...it's a ... Korn concert ...It's OK.**

**B. _Oh Thank goodness. I was just about to say that's ...scary...anything else?_**

**C. I see a terrible rash of food poisoning at Pro Acs Cafeterium...involving excruciating stomach cramps,violent bouts of vomiting and bloody you do..._don't_ eat those olives...**

**B. ..._"THESE" olives?"?_**

**C_. _Yes. The furry ones_._**

**_B. Uh...Those were "OLIVES?"...oh Dear Sweet God..._**

**C. Ooops... _Sorry._**

**B._ Ladies and Gentlemen ... {gag}...We're going to... terminate this interview momentarily and... continue ...{gulp} at some future point..._**

**C. Heh, heh...that's what _You_ think...**

**End Transcript**


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